Monday, January 19, 2015

Self-Acceptance

I made a big decision this weekend. The holidays had thrown me into a funk that lasted for seven weeks and fortunately, at my age, I realized it would pass and didn’t fight it. I let it run its course. Now, with the clarity of hindsight, I realized that the funk stemmed from the desire to be something other than what I am – the optimized me, the better me. I would read all the posts on writing that Facebook had to offer and feel less than, until the dark specter of depression would envelope me and lull me into a non-resistant state. No, I didn’t take to my bed, but I stopped writing.

I was tired of pushing myself. Finish three chapters, five chapters, etc. a day. Don’t worry that it is no fun, or that it may not even be that good, just produce. And marketing, well, we won’t even go into that. I had come to an impasse, the place in the road where one must make a decision about what it is they truly want. If I had started writing when I was thirty, I would have gone one way, but I started in my late fifties. Now, after four years, I understand something I’d never understood before – I can’t do it. I can’t do business. I have tried so many times to do something that would give me an income, or prove I wasn’t the less than a human being I’d always believed myself to be, but nothing worked. It wasn’t because I lacked passion, focus, or direction, it just wasn’t meant to be. If I had only accepted myself for who I am, I would have spent more time doing things I regret not doing now, such as getting on the floor and playing with my kids.

I have fought against calling my writing a hobby as somehow that made it seem trivial. At my age, however, hobbies become useful. It keeps us involved with the world and brings us new friends. When we are home alone, or even with a spouse who doesn’t share our passion, it helps to be in touch with someone who does understand it. A significant other can be supportive, but they can’t experience the flight of fancy you feel when you’re feeding your passion. I have fought the fact that I am not, nor will I ever be, a businesswoman. Encouraged by others I saw on Facebook, I pushed myself beyond my limits, forcing myself to read boring articles about SEO, and missing opportunities to take my grandchildren to the movies because I had to finish one more chapter. Why? Because of an unmovable deadline I had set for myself as per some article or blog post I’d read.

No more. I have a wonderful hobby that feeds my soul and brings me joy, but I’m too old to make it a business. First of all, it costs too much. I don’t make enough selling books to pay for the advertising, etc. that goes along with a business. Secondly, I just don’t like business and never have. It’s too much work and I’m retired. Also, I was born this way. I have fought my biology most of my life. I hated going to school because I had to get up in the morning. If I had been able to go in at noon, I think my years in school would have been more productive. I might even have gone to college. I might have started writing when I was in my twenties. Like most weird people, I have struggled to fit into this world. Fortunately, I met a man who didn’t care what I did. He just loved me. How many of us can say that they found unconditional love in the person they married?


Writing is a necessity for me. I can’t give it up, nor would I want to. I just can’t go on believing it can be anything other than a hobby for me. I want to share my stories because I want to entertain. I have no lofty goals other than to make people happy. I understand those who want writing to be their career and I applaud them for their desire to work hard and establish a profitable business. I wish them all the success in the world, and hope that they will support me in my decision as well.


Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My Latest Release - Circumstantial Evidence - is Here!

My latest book is finally here! Circumstantial Evidence is available on Amazon as a paperback or a Kindle ebook. 

Circumstantial Evidence is a dark story of the living victims of a serial killer. An abused woman who can't leave her home, the man who has spent over fifty years behind bars for a crime he didn't commit, and the people of the small town of Gold Crest, Alaska who know there is something sinister about the bar at the edge of their dying little town. And what about the people who have gone missing? Or the ghost who haunts the mountain? Were they all victims of the same man?




Circumstantial Evidence is a taut mystery that will stay with you long after you've read the last page. Get it now on Amazon.com.


Monday, December 8, 2014

What Happened to Mrs. Claus?

I posted this question on Facebook and no one was able to answer it. 

"I'm watching Santa Claus 2 and it suddenly occurred to me - what happened to Mrs. Claus from the first Santa that Scott Calvin took over for? Did she just disappear? I mean, if Santa has to be married, it stands to reason there had to be a Mrs. Claus with the other Santa. What happened to her?"

I must be honest and say that I've watched these movies for years and this hadn't occured to me before. I put them on Saturday night and as I'm watching Santa Claus 2, all of a sudden I think about the first movie. Now, let's break this down. It is of the utmost importance, don't you agree?





In the first movie, Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) dons the Santa suit when the real Santa falls to his death and delivers the gifts to all the good boys and girls. He ends up at the North Pole, spends the night there in a bed big enough for two, and then goes home. Unbeknown to Scott when he put on the suit, he became Santa and was given one year to get his affairs in order before he must move to the North Pole and assume his new position. Nowhere is there a mention of Mrs. Claus, nor is she seen. 



In the second movie, the premise is that if Scott wants to remain Santa, he has to get married. It's a clause in the Santa contract. Okay, so if it is a clause, didn't the first Santa have to adhere to it as well? And if so, he would been required to have a Mrs. Claus, too. 


My Facebook friends were as perplexed as I. This was an obvious plot contrivance and it sort of pisses me off, even though I hadn't noticed it for 12 years. It was a damn good contrivance. Despite this, I like the movie - not the plastic Santa, I found him obnoxious, but I liked the love story and it lured me into seeing Santa Claus 3, which was a terrible movie and gets worse every time I see it.  So I came to the conclusion that since I've been writing, my mind works differently. I think it always did, but having this jump out at me means that my writer mind has developed to such a point that I can't watch mindless entertainment anymore without things like this happening and ruining my heretofore ignorance of the way these movies manipulate us.



It also annoys me that the writers of this movie got away with this for so long. I have a series called The Divine Detective Agency. In order to investigate crimes on Earth, Nick Dandino must put on a suit that allows him to be seen while on Earth. He is dead, you see, and is a spirit, so to speak. There are rules for the suit such as Nick can't leave it while on Earth for longer than an hour or he will evaporate into nothingness. If the suit is damaged, he has to hightail it back to heaven or else. I have to keep to these rules or those of you that have read the two books in the series will let me know about it, as you should. 



So, should I write a scathing letter to the writers of Santa Claus 2? My guess is they really won't care since it made a mint at the box office and no one asked this question before. Still, there are rules, and this has been driving me crazy for the last two days! Where is the firs Mrs. Claus?!!! The first person to answer it to my satisfaction will win a digital copy of The Body in the Bungalow.




Tuesday, December 2, 2014



I am retiring my Pello Island series and revising it into one book. I made this decision because I've never been completely happy with the way it was done. The Omnibus will be available on Amazon.com until I've finished the revision, which will be one book, so if you downloaded the first book, Pello Island Cassia, you can finish the story. Thank you for your patience and understanding. 

Friday, November 28, 2014

My Favorite "LIttle" Things

This is the time of year when we begin to reminisce about days gone by. While browsing for Christmas images, I found something that reminded me of a thing I loved when I was younger but hadn't thought of in a long time. 


Dollhouses

I fell in love with miniatures when my kids were small. Without a lot to spend, I wasn't able to have this sort of dollhouse, but I did have a small one and furnished it lovingly. There was something about those tiny, intricate things that fascinated me. 


I loved the food, and for a reason I still can't fathom, the little bathroom fixtures. Pull-chain toilets and claw-foot bathtubs were my favorites. Maybe it had something to do with four people sharing one bathroom when my two kids lived at home. Whatever it was, I had an adorable bathroom all to myself in my little house.


I would dream of something like this, so well constructed, so elegant, and just downright beautiful, but this kind of glamour doesn't come cheaply. I would go to miniature shows and weep. I longed for electrified Victorian splendor, and then come home to my little house and put the one thing I could find for $5.00, say a set of stoneware dinner plates, on the kitchen table. Soon, though, I realized that all that stuff needed to be dusted, too. The love between us faded and I packed away the little pieces of furniture, pots, pans, and pillows in a shoe box. It traveled with me from New Jersey to Florida and was placed on a shelf in the spare room closet.

When my grandkids were younger, I bought a shadowbox from Michael's and painted it to resemble a dollhouse. It had separations and I furnished it with that large plastic furniture and members of the Loving Family from Fisher-Price and the kids loved it. When they outgrew it, I put my old stuff in it, but the magic was gone. It looked so shabby, but I realized I had done the best I could to emulate those fancy pieces I'd seen at the shows. I packed the pieces up and put them back on the shelf. I just can't bring myself to throw them away.

Looking at these images gave me a deeper understanding of why I enjoy writing historical fiction. It's my way of inhabiting one of my beloved dollhouses through my characters. 

Here's some images to drool over.




















I found these images on Pinterest where there is a large community of miniature aficionados. Look at that pull-chain toilet! And that bathtub, ah. I want to go to there. 



















Monday, November 24, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving approaches, I searched the Internet and found some antique Thanksgiving cards. I hope you enjoy them.


What are you thankful for this year? I'm thankful to have a wonderful husband who still likes me after 37 years. I'm thankful that my children and grandchildren are healthy. Though my family is spread around the country, I'm grateful we can see each other on Facebook where I get to see my nephews and nieces grow up. Thank you, my family, for posting, liking, and sharing. 
















This is First Cloumn Before seprator
This is Second Cloumn After 
seprator
May you and yours have a happy and peaceful Thanksgiving. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

A New Series! Libby the Psychic Dog's Christmas Story

Announcing the debut of a new series! Libby the Psychic Dog is the star of my new series and she has a special talent. 

In this first book in the series called My First Christmas, Lord Percival Plep died in the war to end all wars and one day, he awakens to find that he has been reincarnated as a dog. He is now a terrier mix and horror of horrors - a female! When he is adopted by an elderly woman, "Mama," he is christened "Libby," and gains the reputation of being "psychic" with Mama's friends when the scrappy little dog finds their lost eyeglasses and keys. With a lust for treats and droll take on life, this little rotund dog's Christmas story will win your heart. Available now on Amazon.